13 April, 2012


So, the last few weeks haven’t gone ideally for me, and at the risk of coming across like a whiney little teenager I’ll do my best to explain why. I was suffering from some fatigue with the amount of training and racing that’s been going down this side of the water and when I crashed last Friday (twice - did I mention?) I cracked a bit. Deep down I’m very much a believer in the old ‘You’re only as good as your last race’ adage, which is stupid I know but something that I can’t quite shake. This tends to lead me into dark corner when it comes to racing as I  think I have to smash every race, otherwise I’ll lose my touch. I knew something was up with my form a few weeks ago when I was feeling tired and sluggish, but naturally I ploughed on regardless in search of results and personal gratification. The problem is that when you’re over here living with a bunch of guys who all race, and everyone knows that’s what we’re here to do, there’s an air of expectant tension when it comes to actually having to perform. No one puts any pressure on anyone else but we all clearly want it, and that adds up to a bit of a head screw.

I think I’m over it now though, thank heavens. It’s taken me a while; four days off the bike, a visit from my girlfriend and plenty of… pancakes, but I think I’m good again. Emily and I spent a night in Lille (which made me realise France is loads better than Belgium) and a couple of nights away from the house in a lushious B & B which was perfect. Having unlimited hot water for the shower (by the way we have very limited hot water here) was incredible!

I’ve been back on the bike for two days now so I’m getting back into the routine of things. My first ride back I did have to double check that I’d got on the right bike because it felt so alien! Onwards and upwards now though; the season is long so I have plenty of time still, I just need to relax and let it happen. 

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